Sorry things have been a bit more quiet around this blog lately. Hope this day finds you well! This post is just to share where I have been at lately and let you know that you are not alone if things are rough at your house too. This mama thing is not easy.
Lately the days have been a little long…especially the week days. I love my sweet children and being a stay at home mama. Nothing huge has gone down at out house. I am blessed and the children have been healthy …but, WOW. Mothering these little ones has been intense. We usually average 1 or so “rough” days, 1-2 “good” days, and the rest “okay” days in a week.
The past couple weeks my days with the children have all been “rough.” I cannot remember having this many long days in a row since right after our youngest was born. I was recovering from a c-section, had 3 in diapers, could not lift any of them, and had to move them through every daily task (as they really could not do much themselves) on very little sleep. It was hard, but we got through it.
Lately I am dealing with new levels of sibling fighting, 4 year olds who are very smart and determined, a 2 year old who is equally determined and considers herself 4. She is more “two” than the twins ever were. She is pretty sure she should be able to do everything they can do and most definitely “holds her own.” Little Man is giving me a run for my money. His brain never stops and this tot’s stamina is an amazing thing.
As they grow I am also trying to let them have more freedom around the house and it is a rough transition (with crafts, creativity, playing in different parts of the house etc.). The house can quickly spiral out of control and teaching them to clean after themselves is a bit exhausting.
I feel like 2 of my 3 little ones are simultaneously at harder stages of development than they have ever been at before. We have had days where I have basically just stood amidst them and carried them through communication. I was constantly working with them, disciplining them, texting my husband to tell him that THIS MOST DEFINITELY IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD, loving them, and hopefully shepherding them the right way (most of the time).
There were times I got really angry….and then later apologized. I was offended they would act this way towards each other and toward me. I was tired. I was pretty close to feeling “done” a few times (whatever that would mean). I hid in the closet and ate a cookie, did my devotions more intentionally, took more rests during naps, and I am still standing.
The word going around is that consistency is the key. I am here to tell you that YES, it is so important. But it is not a guarantee that your little ones will obey or immediately turn their behavior around. We try to be pretty consistent with the little ones. When things got extra intense I became more aware of it…and things were still rough for awhile. It can take time. If you are struggling with your children like I am, keep going!
For the first time I am experiencing some of the typical mommy feelings in a fuller way than I had before. I now know what “mommy guilt” feels like, along with feeling like a “bad mom.” I know I have been listening to lies and discouragement that is not from God.
We have had lots of conversations with the children about important stuff. There has been lots of gospel talk (Jesus, sin, our need for a Savior, etc.), lots of prayer, we are implementing a new ticket system, and I am hoping we are turning a corner (or will soon).
Some seasons of motherhood are fun, while others require extra patience and perseverance. This post is a bit humbling to write. Just coming out from my rock and keepin’ it real.
Check out this awesome post my friend Anna happened to share as I was finishing up this post. It says it all so much better than I can.
I am linking up with Far Above Rubies. If you are visiting I would love to hear from you and come and visit your blog!